this wound called my mother

maybe i'll never heal from this wound my mother gave me. did she give it to me? or did it just happen when i was born? what is it in me that wants her to understand? told my sister today, everytime i try to heal it, i rip the scab off. and it hurts all over again. i'm trying to heal from the outside, in. i get all freaked out that the wound is open, exposed, vulnerable. can't bacteria get in? can't some crazy poke their finger in it and feel around? better to close it up. but it's not really healed then. so, okay. i'll try to be okay with this open wound. i'll care for it. keep it as clean as i can. keep my fingers out of it. let it heal from the inside, out. this will take some time.