starter holes

hammering nails into concrete is difficult.
just spent the last hour or so doing it.
hung up some bamboo window coverings in my bedroom.
discovered the beauty of the starter hole...

these last few weeks have been difficult to say the least.
have really been going thru the wringer.
i spent the better part of holy week at a workshop on life work at ginhawa house.
a very intense three nights, three days.

much healing happened.
clarity reclaimed.
sacred contracts discovered.
perspectives shifted.
perceptions, too.

went to some really painful, shadow places...
and came out the other end...
more whole...
more me.

was an interesting parallel, and the symbolism that it took place during holy week is not lost on me.
in fact, good friday, was the hardest day for me.
full moon, too.
i think this is the first time that i really understand the significance of Easter.
befitting of a christ year, if do say so, myself.

have realized that i'll likely be here in the Philippines longer than i thought..
i thought i would be a year.
then it was a year and some.
then two.
now, i'm thinking, i'll be here until i am supposed to be somewhere else.

has been quite difficult for me to claim that fully.

during my inward time at the workshop, i received some powerful insights regarding my future that i attribute as being messages from the spirit world.

as i type this, i wonder how to share this, if i should share it.

how do i hold this kind of information responsibly?
do i regard it as "real"?
that is, do i actually base my life decisions on it?
does it really just speak to my innermost desires and wishes?
the ones that i am not yet able or wanting to claim as truly mine?
or is it merely symbolic?
and then if so, am i distorting the message by taking it so literally?

this line of questioning comes directly from my own experience.
i know someone here that last year received some powerful insights from the spirit world regarding the future.
she chose to share it with me and others.
she spoke of it as if it were so real.
like there was no alternate future.
in her words, "a done deal."
she expected me to fastly make some pretty major life decisions based on the info that she gave to me.

i made (and make) my decisions based on the gamut of information available to me.
i am also guided by my instincts, my higher Self, my intuition.

her insights did not come to fruition, and i am so relieved that i did not get too "carried away" by them.

and, because of this, i have learned an important lesson about trust.
and discernment.
and impact.
and responsibility.