slowed

it is a most curious kind of laziness that i feel.
i have this feeling deep down that it is so entirely on purpose.
tho, i confess, i’ve no understanding how come or what for.
industrious Virgo wants to rebel and DO something.
some THINGS, actually.
PLEASE.
(written list flutters to the floor)

the chief Phlegmatic, smiles sleepily at Virg, yawning rather showily.
ah, will you ever learn?

i have many thoughts and ideas of what to write about, and the strength and effort that is required to actually formulate and put said thoughts to paper is beyond me.
frightfully so.

the big hand isn’t holding me down, per se.
but, she is keeping me on a short leash.
blogging is the most strain that i can put on my brain, at the moment.
(this is really a stretch.)

why?
(a more rhetorical question has nary existed.)
(i know i won’t get this answered until it is well within hindsight.)

Jodie says that Moon in Aquarius.
could that be it?
all things hang on the stars?

low energy.
the heat.
too much travel, back and forthing from here and manila.
supposed to go to a thing tomorrow.
doubt i will.

supposed to go on wednesday.
pick up cosmic book from UP Dilliman, blessings.
pick up cosmic spiral bracelet from Unang Panahon.
crash at ‘Tay’s new digs in makati.
see Pi and Lisette, et al.

maybe subic on monday.

i just feel like a great big lumpy sloth.
my brain cannot string any pearls of logical thought to save her life.
and there are heaps of pearls in my house.
i see them all, scattered all over.
and even the effort to plunge my fingertips in their bowls, just for texture sake, is effort i do not have.
even though, i do love to feel their coolness and their roundness on my fingertips.

i caught myself caught up in some serious wistful thinking earlier.
and reading of old hurty emails.
and gazing upon some photos, almost all of which were stolen.
none, save one, were really mine.
i was sad for this.
and also happy, because it is information.
let this one go, Dear.
for all our sakes.

perhaps this releasing needs me to stay put for today.
as i write this, i notice the gnawing ache in my heartspace.

oh.
hello.

let me make some room for you.
just understand, this is just a visit.
you no longer have permission to stay as long as you like.