vajra hell

the last few weeks, i have been synthesizing a lot of learnings, amidst grief and explosions.

the weeklong seminar with niconar perlas at st. scho’s helped. freedom. kalayaan. at the end of the day, this is what it is about. it has to be. otherwise my work does not come from sustainable place. it won’t come from an authentic place.

and if we are not aware of this responsibility, then we are planting the seeds of violence. and if we are aware of this and not taking steps toward owning that responsibility, then we are lost indeed.

vajra hell.

and if we are aware of this responsibility, moving towards embodying it with every action, with every intention, loving ourselves through the highs and lows, through the triumphs and the failures, especially the failures, well then, kapatid kita.

the seminar, the grief, the processing, the witnessing, the holding patterns, the laughter, the bonding, the reading, the emails, the frustration, the coping, the eating, the reflecting, the singing, the listening, the hearing, the worry, the release, the brooding, they have led me here to this point.

and this is a good place to be. i really am a weaver.

my most creative moments are in the early morning.
it has always been like that.
in cultivating a creative life, i’ll take care to remember this.