pluto in the 10th house

it has been said to me that because pluto is in my 10th house, nothing short of complete transformation is required of me by the Universe, in the area of my vocation/career.

i got my first inkling that i wanted to be a spiritual teacher in 2006.

i never thought i would be a Waldorf teacher.
a Waldorf teacher is a spiritual teacher.

and, here i am...
a nurse in a Waldorf teacher training.
at Gamot Cogon Institute in iloilo.

i've been kicking and screaming.
parang i don't want this responsibility.
i don't think i am up to this task.
i don't think i want this.
it really requires a lot.

and then, at other times, i'm calm.
Muki, you don't know 'til you know.
soooo, 'til then, Dearest, relax.

i can get so caught up in the future.
i see my present, and i reflect on my past, and it seems like i've had some significant sign posts indicating that this is, indeed, my sacred task for this lifetime.

oh, no wonder, i've been scared shitless.