reset

there is an adorable photo booth picture of chandra and me on my desktop.
i really heart that photo booth application.
i recall that it was prolly the main impetus of my buying this black macbook.
that...
and it's black.

i took my computer to the apple store today because it has been running so very s - l - o - w lately.
i was all prepared for them to keep it for the next 2 days, but it turned out they fixed it in like 20 minutes.
cleaned out all the caches, reset some things, and did something else that i can't remember.
when it was all said and done, something like 13,429+ things were emptied out of the trash.

holy shit.
that's a lot of stuff.
instead of taking like 40 seconds for my computer to turn on and "get right," it takes like 10.
have a bunch of junk for me to sort thru and file away on my desktop, and the genius bar guy said once i did that, it would even run faster.
now, we're talking...

so, metaphorically speaking, this trip has been like this.
a reset.
a purging of things no longer needed.

where's my baggage?

a kind of clarity has descended, and i am grateful.

gave some talks at Sonoma State on spirituality and decolonization, upon invitation from my dear friend Leny.
(when did college students get so young?)
catching up; cosmic christ; delicious, nutritious, low salt meals; chi gong- my hands got hot like when i practice reiki; books!; a santo; babaylan conference on the horizon...


was invaluable to spend time with my Teacher and fellow Students.
center for transformative change, 27 days for change: Practice Period, urban retreat, chant leading, perfect intention, new liturgy, old liturgy, roles, observations, open house, memory, memories, getting lost, getting found, giving instruction, receiving instruction, knowings, being loud, social silence, truthfulness (phew, not continence), food, body, precision, warmth, baby children, JO KATA, dana, prostrations, the coarse hinderances (i have resolved to relax into these coarse ones. just thinking about the ones that remain hidden, for now, freak me the fuck out.)


connected with some pea-op-lays...
some on purpose, some quite by happy accident...
all divinely scripted tho, by the unfathomable Universe...
Mitra, mitra, chandra, Simha, Prema, Zochi, Leny, Cal, Sundaresvani, Suryanandi, Marie, Stan, Jim, Kim, Vassi, Jase, AGP, Miguel, Joseph...


checked out Rudolf Steiner College. drove way the fuck out there. worth the trip, if not just to satisfy the curiosity i had in my head about the place. glorious bookstore (i love books!)-they stayed open later for me, the campus was pretty much empty when i got there. despite this, was pleasantly surprised to have spied some folks of color. they were purty. spent time in the biodynamic garden and watched the master gardener and his helpers work. i'd like to do that some day. i sat on the bench near the vortex fountain, imagining. nice...


things shifting for me around my family, too.
(insert sigh here)
cuts close to the bone.
once upon a time, i had expectations of being understood.
then, after several lumps and bumps of the 'dark nights of the soul' quality, the expectations shifted to yearnings.
then the yearnings to longings.
now, i'm about ready to let go of the longing.
not quite yet.
haven't infused enough warmth in the process, so that i can send it off in a good way.
but almost.

let the Love remain.
let the Love remain.
let the Love remain.

where is my baggage?

there's no place like Home.