barrio

getting over my jet lag.
still somewhat on philippines time.
Reimon calls twice a day.
thanks, vonage.
gmail chatting with Troy at 2am.
chikka texting.

suitcases have vomited all over my room.
haphapzard packing.
again.

laughing because i packed mostly dirty clothes.
haven't had time to do my wash.
feels like college.

last week at the clinic was a whirlwind blur.
so much to prepare.

my mother pimped out my room here while i was gone.
white sheets.
feather pillows.
goose down comforter.
plushy white towels.
kinda afraid to be dirty, it's so white.

amused at the contrast.
my pink 'permahard' uratex foam mattress in Madapdap.
how i purposely bought brown sheets so i wouldn't notice dirt as much.
i used to sleep with just a malong pala.

the water in Madapdap would turn these white sheets orange from the rust.

then i think how lucky i am that i can thrive in both environments.
that i even have the opportunity to know both worlds.
and really enjoy them.
and love them.

it's cold here.
and i have a humidifier running all the time.
i refill it with my pink tabo.

getting over a hacking cough that i brought with me.
another release of grief yata.

did some laundry the other day.
used the 'high efficiency, front loader' washing machine in my parent's house.
first time i've used a washing machine in six months.
hung some of it to dry on the long railings framing the spiral staircase here.
parang sampay.
as i hung it all up, i thought to myself, my parents are not going to like this.
kasi, daming kalat eh.
they like everything orderly kasi.
they never said anything to me about it.

my youngest sister, Sam, came home home from work, and laughed.
"you know, Ate, this ain't the barrio."

we laughed.
sabi ko, "you can take the girl out of the Philippines, but you can't take the Philippines out of the girl."

have showed my parents pictures of the clinic in Madapdap.
they didn't faint.
i'll take it.

made kwento-kwento about my roadtrip with Reimon.
told my father how i kept thinking of him during that trip.
he told me that one of his favorite things to eat was tupig.

i discovered it in vigan.
i remember riding the calesa, and asking the driver what they were cooking at the side of the road.

sarap yan mam.
tikman mo.

sige.

i bought five, at 5 pesos each.
gave one to the driver.
ate two for merienda. ang sarap!
gave two to Reimon later.

i look forward to eating piping hot, bagong lutong tupig with my father.
my family is talking about maybe spending christmas in the philippines next year.
there is healing happening.
ganda.