52

i just woke up from a delicious 3 hour nap.
i haven’t been sleeping very well.
it’s partly due to all the fluorescence and the perpetual daytime, i imagine.
but, it’s also because this place hums with activity, 24/7.

Lolo Jr. and i are the first to go to bed around 10pm;
the mahjong tiles still clicking.
i wake up around 3am;
the mahjong tiles still clicking.

and, i’m getting more sleep than most around here.
there’s cooking to be done, as we are eating at least 6 times a day, counting merienda.
and Ilonggos, like Kampampangans, are particular about their food and like to eat (and drink) very well.
there’s also constant cleaning.
and buying of supplies and food.
and greeting of visitors.
copious amounts of visitors.

as usual, i get chased away when i try and help with the household work.
so, i mostly hide out in Lola’s room emerging to make a duty round of hello’s, eat, or check on my Mom.

this morning i went to the palengke to buy flowers.
and i drank native coffee and ate fresh puto with Tita Lita.
yum.
(and i’m not usually a coffee drinker!)
hmm, maybe this is why i have been having touble sleeping.

i also finally transferred the photos off my phone onto my computer.
that was surprisingly easy and relatively painless.
(maraming salamat, Bluetooth!)

i’m 95% done with Lola’s slideshow.
the music is not quite right, but it is good enough.
no one seems to know what Lola’s favorite songs were.
i wish i knew.
i have this recording on my phone of a conversation that we had last october regarding her favorites.

goes something like this:
“Lola, what is your favorite color?” sabi ko.
“whatever you like, i like,” sabi niya.
“Lola, what is your favorite thing to do?” i asked.
(long pause)
“i used to love playing cards,” sabi niya.
(nagulat ako. i thought for sure she would say mahjong.)
tapos, sabi niya, “you know when you get old, you like one thing and then in the next minute you don’t like it anymore. i don’t remember anymore what i like and don’t like.”
it goes on, and i listen to that recording every so often.
so, maybe even Lola doesn’t remember her favorite songs.

this particular morning, i woke up at 2am,
and in the wee early morning hours,
i came up with a brilliant idea.

i’ve been fretting a bit about my speech, and it occurred to me that it would be good to solicit input from all the apo and great apo of Lola regarding their relationship with Lola.
so, i spent a good chunk of time today texting and emailing all 52 of us.
imagine.
grabe.
nagulat ako, our number, like a deck of cards.

Tinanong ko sa amin dalawang tanong:

1) what have you learned from Lola Mameng?
2) what will you always remember about her?

i had to do some pretty crafty detective work in tracking down cell phone numbers and emails.
atsaka, ubos na ang load sa computer at cell phone ko.
i emailed and texted all over the world…
and it was so worth it.

the replies are trickling in…
and they are so moving.
although i’ve only received about 50% return, emerging themes, that echo my own experience with Lola, are apparent.
i appreciate the affirmation.

she is the tie that binds us.
i wonder what will happen to our family now that she is gone.