fire transforms

and, i’m feeling the heat.
i can spend a lot of time wondering, “why me? why this way?”
(and, admittedly, i spend my fair share…)

but, i am wondering if it is more useful to say:

i don’t know why this feels so intense.
i don’t why this is unfolding like this.
i don’t like it.
i think it stinks.
i think it fucking sucks.
i hate it actually because i don’t understand it.
i hate it because i can’t control it.
but, what about if i just accept that this is the way it is…for now.
the cookie crumbled, and here it is.
the Universe has given me this.

so, now what?

ps. please Lord, let this fire burn away my arrogance and greed.

pps. reminds me of the verse of atonement.

ppps. here it is…for posterity’s sake:

All separation ever committed by me, since of old
on account of my beginningless greed, anger and ignorance,
born of my body, speech and consciousness,
I now atone for it all.