helios, heel. heal.

the sunrise doesn't hurt as much as it once did.
what a relief.

a confession:
at my most petty, i had already added this to our list of mutual disappointments and resentments...

you fucked up the sunrise for me.
forever.

at my best, it's just a very slight pang, the lightest tug on my heartstrings.
a reminder that you were once close.
(not closed.)
that i let you in.
that you still exist.

and the sunrise is so beautiful.

despite everything, you have a place in this heart of mine, should you wish to claim it.
who am i kidding?
even if you choose not to claim it,
it's there.

confounding.
and annoying.
and true.

perhaps the ebbing of pain abides for understanding.
with it no longer causing me to close my eyes to bear it,
or have tears blur my vision,
or have it take up so much damn room...

i can find my generosity again.

it's around here somewhere.
buried deep underneath the anger,
just beneath the hurt.